Cartography
by otterpocket
Summary: Sebastian is struggling to find balance between his demanding job and his relationship with Kurt and Blaine, but thinking back on the years that brought them to where they are, he remembers the moments that drew them together. A polyamorous Sebklaine story.
1. Prologue - I Am a Cartographer At Heart

A story told in texting. flashbacks and current day. Story and chapter titles all come from "Cartography" by Seanan McGuire. This is my first story so any praise or constructive criticism will keep the muse at work.

**Prologue - I Am a Cartographer At Heart**

Prologue. Yep, it's all texting. Nope, the rest of the story won't be all texting. I love those stories but this is not that kind of story. :)

Comments are love!

* * *

To: Kurt

I swear to you. If I have to work with this client for one more day, I'm going to... Ugh.

To: Sebastian

Is this the one who clearly has no friends? The one who wears those terrible overalls to your meetings?

To: Kurt

The ONE with no friends, really? They all dress like they shop at the tackiest of thrift stores. You would be sickened. This is the same one I was working with all weekend. I am just sick to death of this case.

To: Sebastian

I know, love. They don't deserve to be represented by you. I missed you this morning.

To: Kurt

Don't I know it. You and B were wrapped around each other like starfish as soon as I was out of the bed.

To: Sebastian

The bed is big and cold without you in it.

To: Kurt

Not with Blaine the Human Torch, it isn't, I swear that boy was a radiator in a past life. Cold is getting dressed at 5:30am on a Monday morning in the dark, while the loves of your life snuggle closer to each other and you don't get goodbye kisses.

To: Sebastian

That was almost B level of cheesy, love. You can always wake me up for goodbye kisses though. I'm sure B wouldn't mind either.

To: Kurt

I am not waking either of you up that god-awful early! You would be an absolute bitch and B wouldn't let me leave. That way lies temptation and madness. I've gotta get back to this bastard now though, babe. Thanks for helping me get my mind off things for a few. I needed it.

To: Sebastian

Anytime, love. And I'm never a bitch...usually. ;) You home for dinner tonight? I'll make you something wonderful!

To: Kurt

Ah, tease! I wish, but I'll be here until at least 11. If I don't kill someone first. Warm up the bed for me though. ;)

To: Sebastian

No homicide, I need you and your gorgeous legs for my show next month. You're irreplaceable. I'll leave the bed-warming to B but there will be meatloaf for you in the fridge when you get home if you want it. 3

* * *

To: Blaine

Seb is having a particularly terrible day. Did he text you?

To: Kurt

Nope, I think he knows you handle his bad moods better, I just get too mushy for him. How is your day though? xx

To: Blaine

If I ever see another sequin again I will scream. I will never use them again. I am outlawing them on our spring line.

To: Kurt

Well, we both know that isn't true. You have never been able to stay mad at sequins for long but you did go a bit crazy with them this time around. I think you just can't resist a good sequin snowflake on a winter gown.:) xx

To: Blaine

Shut up. Remind me why I married you?

To: Kurt

Dashing, charming, amazing cuddler, sucks like a hoover... ring any bells? xx

To: Blaine

BLAINE! I'm working! And besides, reminding me why I love Seb so much just doesn't help your case. ;) xx

To: Kurt

Well, they may be true of him too, but that's why you love us both so much. Your beloved David and Goliath. (And, really xx's from you? Surprised) xx

To: Blaine

You bring out the worst in me, what can I say. And with that extra helping of cheese, I am headed home to make dinner for you pains in my ass, I mean darlings. No I really do mean pains in my ass! 3 See you at home.

To: Kurt

I'll be there soon after you, I can help! I know, I can already hear "Hands off me and my knives, Anderson!" See you soon. xx

* * *

To: Sebastian

3 xxxxx

To: Blaine

I love you too, B. Thanks.


	2. 1 - We Are Each of Us an Island

**1 - We Are Each of Us an Island, With Our Separate Rocky Shores**

Sebastian had been working 14-15 hour days for going on two weeks now. He was leaving at 6:15 am, trudging through a horrid morning of meeting with clients, working through lunch, (which was, at least, a shining point in his day. A delicious meal made by Kurt with a schmoopy note from Blaine that he would never admit made him melt daily) and working with his father and the other partners all evening on paperwork and reports, preparing for trial. He would finally get home after 11 and tumble into bed with his boys who were fast asleep and usually smelled deliciously of sex and each other.

Sebastian would be too exhausted to do anything about the arousal and envy that rose in him as he drifted off. Over the past two weeks he hadn't been able to fuck either of them and he missed them both like mad.

Things had never been this stressful at work and he knew it was as hard on them as it was on him. He still felt bad for how he had snapped at Blaine after the sixth doting text message in two hours a few days into his first hectic week. He did miss Blaine too, but the constant reminder did nothing to help his exhaustion and frustration and sometimes Blaine was just a little too much too handle. He still hadn't had the chance to really apologize, though he had sent a quick email saying as much that day at lunch. The fact that he hadn't received another text from Blaine until two days ago, and nothing since, and that had contained nothing but a heart and kisses told him Blaine was still feeling a bit cautious. He appreciated that Kurt would wait for him to initiate a conversation, would snark about his clients with him, and wouldn't worry overmuch if Sebastian just didn't respond after a time. It was a great way to let some of the pressure off. He hadn't had that even, since their conversation Monday morning.

But what he really needed to let the pressure off was a night at home, or better yet a whole day in bed, with his loves. He knew they were both busy too: Kurt with the final touches on his winter line before it went to production for his big show next month, and Blaine with 3 new authors recently signed and each of them with at least 2 books in his queue. But they were both home together in the evenings. And, any other time, Sebastian would have been there with them, helping Kurt in the kitchen with dinner or a new baking experiment. Or propped up on the couch, Blaine's head in his lap as they read. Kurt would finish his project for the night and sit at the other end of the couch rubbing Blaine's feet or flipping through the latest Vogue until Sebastian or Blaine finally pounced on him or each other and they would all stumble to bed together for a hearty romp. He missed it all so much and it had only been two weeks.

When he came home at 10pm that Wednesday night and heard Blaine and Kurt in the throes of passion as he walked in the door, he felt another pang of arousal and envy. He heard Blaine's keening right there, right there and Kurt's growl as he came and knew that he'd missed out on the night's festivities, not that he had the energy to do anything with them tonight as it was. Tomorrow, he had to be in court and he hadn't gotten more the 6 hours sleep in 12 days, some only 4 or 5. He was exhausted and could feel his throat hitch and tears well in his eyes, uncontrolled and emotional as he was from loneliness and sleep dep. He couldn't go into the bedroom now and show how wrecked he was at hearing them together. He'd get no more sleep that way, they'd feel guilty and he hated showing them how much they affected him.

He wasn't sentimental and mushy like Blaine and even Kurt at times. He hid behind a well-formed mask of pride and sarcasm that had served him well these many years. He was still not as open with either of them as they were with him or with each other. That made some sense at least, they'd been together for almost eight years minus the six months they had taken off after Kurt graduated high school.

And Sebastian had joined them, after the strangest of reunions, almost four years ago now, Wow, was it really that long? He sat on the couch, trying to collect himself, and thought about the strange path that had lead the three of them here.


	3. 2 - I Know You, I Met You

And here is where we flash back and divert from canon. It would be canon up to this point and this starts post season three. How I expected the break-up to go.(Fuck you, RIB!)

Also, seriously big 'thank you's to roomies A and Fox for helping me whip this chapter into shape. It fought back. :)

Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

**2 - I Know You, I Met You a Long, Long Time Ago**

Blaine and Kurt were sure a long distance relationship wouldn't work. They both wanted it to, but they were teenagers and a year was a long time. Blaine had insisted they take some time, that Kurt take some time, to get himself settled in New York. And if that time apart showed them that they were ready to see other people, then they would know they were done, no hard feelings. And if, in that time, they were still drawn to each other, they would find a way to make the long distance work until Blaine could graduate and join him in New York.

They hadn't lasted the year they promised themselves. During winter break, when Kurt was back home with Burt, Carole, and Finn, he texted Blaine one night, the first time since he'd moved to New York, a little drunk and a lot lonely.

To: Blaine

I'm an idiot.

To: Kurt

Hi, Kurt. Why do you think you're an idiot? What happened?

To: Blaine

Nothing happened Blaine. That's the point. Nothing happened.

To: Kurt

I'm sorry Kurt. I don't understand. What do you need?

To: Kurt

I mean I'm happy you're texting me. So happy. But I'm just confused.

To: Blaine

I need you Blaine. There is no one in New York and I don't want there to be. I know what I want Blaine. You, forever and this was stupid and can we just be kissing now?

To: Kurt

Kurt, I... I'll call you tomorrow.

Kurt hadn't responded. Didn't know how. What did this mean? Kurt kept drinking, started crying and wished he'd never sent the message. Isn't that always the way?

* * *

Blaine had been seeing someone. Sebastian. It was a bit crazy,it didn't really make sense after all that Sebastian had done to him, but they had found in those months so many reasons that they were good for each other. Mostly it had started because Blaine was sure Kurt would meet someone amazing in New York and he wanted to be happy for him.

But he was just lonely and jealous and he hadn't heard from Kurt in weeks and he knew why and so he went to Scandals and planned to dance his ass off until he was exhausted and could collapse into bed and sleep until it didn't hurt anymore. He threw himself into the music, drank more than he should have and the room was spinning when he he felt a pair of steady, sure hands at his hips. He collapsed back into the tall form of the boy behind him.

"Hey tiger, where's your lady lover? No chaperone tonight?" Sebastian breathed hotly into ear as he pulled Blaine's body against him.

"Shut up and dance." Blaine huffed as he turned his head and planted his lips against Sebastian's neck. Sebastian reveled in the feel and smell of the boy in his arms, shocked at how easy this was, how pliant Blaine felt in his arms and he realized he could have anything he wanted tonight. They had danced all night and when Blaine couldn't dance anymore, drunk and exhausted, and Sebastian was holding him up on the dance floor, he finally led Blaine out and to his car, telling Blaine he was too drunk to drive himself and he would bring him back for his car in the morning.

Sebastian took him back to his dorm and laid him on his bed, pulling off Blaine's shoes and pants, his bow-tie which had come untied while they danced and his button-down shirt leaving him in his undershirt and briefs before crawling into bed next to him and wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. He was a bit shocked at himself that the last thing he wanted to do was take advantage of Blaines' inebriated state. This wasn't how Sebastian had planned on the conquering of the ex-Warbler to go, but he found he didn't care. He just wanted to hold him and he hoped he could find out in the morning what had gotten into Blaine. He also hoped whatever it was, it was there to stay. They slept that way through the night, Sebastian wrapped loosely around Blaine's body, even though he'd never been one to cuddle his conquests in sleep.

That had been four months ago and the boys' relationship, for that was truly what it was, had become so much more than either of them ever thought they wanted from each other. They really were good for each other, which shocked them both. Blaine brought out a romantic streak in Sebastian that he refused to acknowledge, even as he wrote sweet notes and poems, and he sang to him which never failed to melt Blaine's heart. And Sebastian allowed Blaine to explore a wild side he had kept pent up and put away when he was with Kurt.

Of course, they fought constantly as well. Sebastian got into moods where he was negative and snarky about everything and no matter how optimistic and comforting Blaine tried to be, it didn't help, it seemed to make it worse.

One night, about two months into their relationship, Sebastian texted to ask if he could crash Blaine's solo study night. Sebastian needed to talk to Blaine and he hoped it wouldn't turn into another fight. It seemed like any time they weren't fucking they were fighting.

"Blaine, I fucking hate the Warblers right now. They just don't get it. You and me... they're saying I can't be loyal to the team and …do this with you at the same time. I don't know what to do." Sebastian wasn't looking at Blaine, he was laying on Blaine's bed staring at the ceiling and so didn't notice how focused Blaine had become on his schoolwork.

Blaine set his laptop aside. "Whoa, hey, this sounds a lot more serious than your text suggested." He swiveled his desk chair around to face Sebastian, concern written on his face. "What do you need from me? How can I help?"

"They said I had to pick. You or them. I guess they don't care about my awesome oral skills as much as you do. I should just quit, they're all idiots anyway." Sebastian smirked at Blaine, trying to goad him into ripping on the prep school boys with him.

Blaine frowned. "You can't do that, Seb. You're amazing, and as much as I hate to help our best competitors, they'd be lost without you."

"I just don't want the stupid team to tell me who I can fuck. I signed up for a glee club, not a nanny." he snarled, wishing Blaine would stop trying to help and just let him blow off some steam.

"You're so good, though...maybe you could transfer to the New Directions?" he suggested doubtfully.

Sebastian sat up fully, staring Blaine down. "Are you fucking kidding me, Blaine?! I am not leaving my amazing college preparatory school for some shitty public school that barely even funds the 'Nude Erections!' I'm not throwing away all of the opportunities my parents have worked hard to give me, like you did for Kurt."

"Excuse me? Did you SERIOUSLY just say that to me?" Blaine clenched his fist at his side, his face going red.

"Yeah. I know you're a fucking romantic and think that love is worth giving EVERYTHING up for, but it's not. I have to be practical here." Sebastian realized his slip. Had he just implied he loved Blaine? Fuck that. "I can't just waltz out on an amazing education because I found a nice piece of ass."

"A nice piece of...? Jesus fuck, Sebastian, YOU were the one who suggested that you should quit the Warblers. I was trying to HELP. You asked me for help, and I offered you what I had. I can't talk to them for you."

"I wasn't suggesting you be the one to talk to them, gel-head. Just give me some ideas. You've gotta have something with all your slick lines. You always know just what to say to win people over. Why not use it to help me for once," Sebastian spat at him.

"They would know it isn't you. Why don't you just defend yourself? You don't have to put up with that from them." Blaine reasoned in an attempt to bring the conversation back to Sebastian's original concern.

"Fuck! I can defend MYSELF just fine. It's sleeping with you I can't fucking defend."

"Well then don't. Just stop." Blaine was tired of feeling like he was always on the edge of everything falling apart. He knew it was just a matter of time with Sebastian. "Dammit, why did you even fucking come over tonight. We both know you're going to choose the Warblers over me." Blaine rolled his eyes and braced himself for the backlash.

"Fuck you, Blaine. you know that's not...you know what, fuck this, I don't need a boyfriend who pisses off my entire glee club." Sebastian realized his slip as soon as he made it, they'd never used that word.

Caught off guard, Blaine stammered out, "Boyfr-...? Whatever. Sebastian, if you want out of this you just have to say so." Blaine could look at Sebastian. He stared at the door to his room, waiting for Sebastian to walk out it.

"I'm not the one who wants out. It sounds to me like you're already done," Sebastian scoffed but his eyes were pleading.

"Is...that what you think? Really? Because I'm not.' Blaine took a breath and met Sebastian's eyes. "And neither are you," Blaine found as he said it that her was certain now, in a way he hadn't been before. Sebastian wanted to be in this. With him. Even when they ripped into each other like they had today.

"UGH! You make me crazy! I fucking HATE you!" Sebastian grabbed Blaine, pulled him flush against his body and kissed him deep, trying to hide how fast his breath and heartbeat had become.

Between kisses, Blaine muttered "No, you don't."

This is how it ended more and more often. Sebastian's wall would break and he would grab Blaine and kiss him as hard as he could to hide how broken and upset he was. They would fall into bed again and all would be better by morning, or as much as it could be.

That fight had been months ago, now, but ones just like it seemed to crop up every few weeks. Blaine knew that he and Sebastian weren't stable and had been contemplating ending things with him for a while. Hell, whenever things got to their worst he thought about ending it. He had never done that with Kurt. There were times they'd been completely livid with each other, but they never thought ending the relationship would solve things. Until graduation.

As he stared at his phone and then at the picture of Sebastian he had on his bulletin board, he felt queasy. He wished so hard that he had ended things with Sebastian, last month, last week, last night, any of the numerous times he'd thought about it. Even now there was a ache in his gut at the thought of ending things with him, but he knew what he wanted. He wanted Kurt.

Well, in a way he wanted them both but that couldn't be and he knew it. It was time now. He felt terrible for ending things with Sebastian only now that Kurt wanted him back, he never wanted to be that guy. Kurt deserved better than that guy. Sebastian deserved better than that guy too. Blaine knew he could be better than that guy, but not today. Today he had to end things with Sebastian as calmly as possible, yeah right, he thought, and then call Kurt.

* * *

That fight scene was hard to write. I'm glad I've got good sounding boards who know the voices of those characters. :)

"Fuck" count for the story so far: 15

"Fuck" count for this chapter: 14

Yeah...

You can come play with me on Tumblr if you want. (otterpocket)


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